The Exit

I know what people think about me and I don’t care. Honestly, I’m happy here. I don’t need anything from out there. If that makes me weird then I guess I’m weird.

Just look at that view! I’ve had uninterrupted access to this view from the comfort of my sofa for fourteen years.  You leave your home every day to stare into a brick wall or whatever ugly environment you work in. You’re weird!  I’ve got everything I need right here. There’s no need to leave.  My health is fine. Really, it’s fine.

Why should I leave? I’m not hurting anyone. I like it here in the house.  I’m quiet and I mind my own business.

Please just go! I want to watch the sunset by myself.

You’re still here. Sigh. John and I used to like watching the sunset over the Hudson from our place downtown. The sunset here is nicer. I don’t have to worry. I’m safe in here.

Fourteen years of safety isn’t a waste! That’s your silly opinion. Before John died I was like you. I thought the world was interesting and figured I was obliged to go out every day and mingle with  people I didn’t like and work at a job I hated.  Y’know, he dutifully went to work day after day in those towers only to…well you know what happened.  I saw the carnage. I felt the earth move and I awoke to my truth and came here.

It’s not safe out there and that’s all I know. Don’t tell me I’m missing out on life. I’m a 58 year old widow. I know exactly what I’m missing out on and none of it is any good. By now I’d be fired from my job because they’d want to push me out before retirement. I’d be old, single, and unemployed in a City that has a habit of getting blown up. No thank you.

I’ve got this amazing view, my television, the computer, my books, and I don’t eat much so food isn’t a problem.  The church brings me a bag of groceries now and then. I’m ever so grateful and I remember each one of those people in my prayers every night.

A court order?  You’re funny.   I really want to discuss this further but I must pay the water bill if you know what I mean.  You enjoy that view and I’ll be right back.  I’m fine. How about this, I’ll think about it while I’m doing my business down the hall and when I come back we’ll see what’s what?  I’ll be back in a flash.

See, I told you I’d be right back!  I’ve been thinking about this court order of yours. I’ve also been thinking about the loaded pistol I pulled from the bedroom.

Hmmm. What to do? What to do?

You could leave me in peace like I’ve been asking you nicely to do but you don’t seem too keen on that idea. I could kill you but I’m not looking forward to disposing of your remains and hosting a parade of investigators who will traipse through here looking for you.

There’s an alternative. If you insist.

Well then.


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Pearl Grey

Pearl Grey fled America in 2008 and followed a little star in the sky until she reached London which seemed like a decent place to stay for a while. She can be found toiling in the City and pottering around Walthamstow.

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