Five Stages of Getting out to Work in the Morning (A True Story)
It’s too early for the alarm and it’s too early for the kids to be moving. It’s too early to be getting out bed into the cold air, and the floor is too cold and it’s like being a teenager again and I want to stay under the duvet and why can’t it be saturday already?
Bloody shower only has two settings; too bloody and too bloody cold. Christ! someone ate the last of the Cornflakes and left the pack there. Do I live in a zoo? And no, we can’t put the Power Rangers on I need to watch the traffic reports. How is it my fault you’re homework isn’t done and you can’t find a pen?
Look, just put your shoes on so we can go. Please? Its not difficult I just need to go to the loo but if you can please stop fighting for 5 minutes and get dressed that would be lovely. Yes, I’m sure you can take that to school, but you have to put your coat on first, OK?
Fine. I’ll just sit here in my coat whilst you find your PE kit then. I’m going to be late now anyway. Oh, another drink. Sure, why not?
OK, have a good day. Watch yourself on the way home. Lets see whats on the radio, shall we, a nice, quiet drive ahead. It’s good to be setup for the working day. Look forward to doing it all again tomorrow. No, wouldn’t trade it for the world.