A Great Time Guaranteed For All!
You know what they say? They say that the greatest tragedy of childhood is the day that it ends. For some this comes horribly early, cut short by grinding of life’s wheels, and for others it is a long, gentle sunset into the darkness of adulthood. But one day it will end – and never return. Weep for that day, those of you who have seen it! Fear that day, those of you yet to wake to it!
But wait! What if I was to tell you that that day need never come – or perhaps, for the likes of you sir! yes you! with the mustache and the careworn eyes! – it can come again! You scoff, you laugh! The nighttime of adulthood lies heavy on your soul and your imagination is lost, but I tell you it can so! There is a way!
I hold in my hand a sheaf of directions, directions to a place far from here where childhood runs forever. It leads far from this grimy city, oh yes, far from the smoke and grime and the browns and greys of this modern age. It leads to the countryside, where the skies are blue and the horizon is the greenest of hills, and along the lanes and byways to my farm, where we know of the old ways and the secrets of eternal childhood. Once there, I can show you the pathways through the fields, to our great barn, the gateway between adulthood and childhood. There you climb the secret, twisted paths to be cleansed of your cares, or freed from the approach of them.
I can see you’re interested, I can see you want to believe. How much is it worth for that chance eh? A shilling? A Guinea? A single Sovereign! A bargain at any price! First come, first served, ladies and gentlemen!