So anyway, my dad’s this frickin genius right – I mean properly intelligent – invents stuff, works for Kings, Emperors, that kinda thing. Place we’re at now, creates this kinda underground playground; walls, tunnels, fake exits, could be awesome! But this King only uses it once every seven years as some unescapable death pit – you know, monsters, virgin sacrifices, that kinda thing – complete waste if you ask me!
Anyway, turns out this unescapable death pit isn’t completely unescapable after all. Some foreigner went in, killed the King’s pet monster, escaped, then kidnapped the King’s daughter and sailed off. Upshot of this; extremely pissed King, and dad and I imprisoned in formerly unescapable, now completely unescapable (due to the only entrance being blocked) death pit of dad’s own creation – nice!
Anyway, as I was saying, my dad’s this frickin genius right, had this secret exit King didn’t know about. Only thing; exit is half way up this cliff face with no way down! So anyway, dad’s lost it – some frickin genius! – walking around with feathers stuck to him, pretending to be a bird, thinks we’re going to fly out of here. Never gonna happen.

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Tim Waltho

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