Conversion

‘Tis pleasant, safely to behold from shore
The rolling ship, and hear the tempest roar.

Well, yes indeed. That’s what the inscription says around the temple and, frankly, I couldn’t agree more. Mind you, the erosion’s pretty bad here, the building’s so close to the edge that in a few years there’ll be no more safely beholding from the shore going on here. Still, no need to dwell on that in the advert.

Very pleasant aspect. Very pleasant. And the name is, thankfully, rather misleading – it was actually built as a library, so there’s none of that time-wasting getting things de-consecreated malarky. The conversion should be fairly straightforward too. We’ll leave the side facing the shore mostly as it is, but the wall facing the sea will have to be completely knocked out and replaced with glass. It’d be a damn shame not to be able to enjoy the view from the dinner table or a nice roll-top bath. Not that I go in for nature much myself, I prefer the telly. But there we go, each to their own.

The view’s spectacular, I have to say. It’s a bit remote though – we’ll have to knock a road through this field and the edge of that wood. Normally these things are hard to do but I’ve taken a fellow from the Council out for a few good lunches and, usually, if you know the right ear to whisper into or the right person to golf with, you can get past all this irritating listed-building this, protected-woodland that nonsense that has a nasty habit of holding things up.

Yes, I think this might turn out quite well. I’ll be able to use the cash for that mid-life crisis porsche I’ve always fancied. Now that is a thing of beauty.

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Alex Jury

Alex Jury

Alex Jury is a retired cowgirl, now working as a copywriter in London. She loves working with words but misses all the lassoing.
Alex Jury

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