Dear Lieutenant Colonel Rathbone (Mrs),

We at the Vatican thank you for your letter dated 3^rd March 2010 informing us of the return to Earth of Jesus Christ (formerly of Nazareth) and his subsequent “walking about the Earth, doing some light shopping and generally smiling a lot.”

We have looked into the incident, which you allege took place on 10^th April 2010, and are now happy to report back to you with the findings of our investigative team.

We’re sorry to have to inform you that you did not, in fact, have an Earthly encounter with our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. This was not, as you suggested, the second coming, heralding the ensuing Apocalypse, destruction of this world, and creation of a new world and new Jerusalem to be dwelt in by a perfect and redeemed sainthood.

In fact, this was one Arthur Templehurst of 72 Measden Lane, Fenchstone, Lankensby. I think you will find that, indeed, he is not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.

Yours with love, hugs and quick squeeze of the bottom,

Cardinal Basil Rathbone the Third.
Grand High Inquisitor
The Vatican (Where the Pope lives).

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Ian Sharman

Ian is a freelance writer and artist. He founded Orang Utan Comics Studio with Peter Rogers in 2006, writes for their Eagle Award Nominated anthology Eleventh Hour and regularly inks for Panini’s Marvel Heroes comic.

Latest posts by Ian Sharman (see all)

• How the War Began - 30/12/15
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• Cogito Ergo Sum - 25/08/15
• Hayfever’s End - 17/08/15
• Regrets? I’ve Had A Few - 14/08/15