The Turkey Drop

There’s a word for this, you know. A phrase, I mean. For this sort of thing. They call it the turkey drop. When someone dumps you right before the holidays? Like, so they don’t have to go through all the effort? But I guess that makes you the turkey here, sorry.

I thought about it, you should know. A lot. I mean, you’re easy to buy a gift for, that’s no big deal. And it’s always nicer to have someone to go to all those holiday parties with. A partner in crime, so to speak, and you’ve always cleaned up nicely. You’re nice to take around, you hold up your end of the conversation, that sort of thing. So I could have waited until after the new year, or even after Valentine’s Day or whatever.

But I just thought it would be unfair, you know? Like, unfair to you. You should know that – I thought of you. And I thought maybe you shouldn’t have to go through the hassle of figuring out a gift for me that could top last year’s Pillow Pet for lack of suitability and attention to my interests, although I guess I should be grateful you chose the puppy and not the frog.

And maybe you don’t want to go to my office party, and now you don’t have to! That’s great, right?

So, anyway, thanks for the champagne and the, uh, reindeer. Very sweet of you.

Happy holidays!

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Cynthia Lugo

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