Sometimes I am saying entirely wrong things to people by mistake. Last week I ask girl on bus when baby is due. Now I do not worry about asking about  this to girl whi not actually pregnant, as this is how I met my Helga! But this time it turned out that it was not even a girl i was speaking to. I was struck with embarrassment. Seconds later I was struck with sexually ambiguous fist of fat girlyman.

then there was a couple of days ago when I get up and look out my window. I see,just behind garden, a man who is sat looking miserabley at the ground and I shout the common british expression ‘cheer up, it might not ever happen!’ nThen I notice the flowers on the ground next to him, and remember that I live in a house overlooking a cemetary. Whoops!

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Schmurgen Jonerhaffs

Latest posts by Schmurgen Jonerhaffs (see all)

• Ten things you Do Not put in an upturned Traffic Conn - 15/12/09
• An Embarrassing Toilet - 09/12/09
• The Annual Meeting - 03/12/09
• Not as easy as i remembered - 28/11/09
• My exciting new career - 21/11/09