1. a house (big, lovely)
2. some grass (long, untidy)
3. tree (engraved on its trunk: ten-year-old message ‘LG 4 DF’)
4. moustachioed man taking a dump (top window of house is wide open!)
5. crying boy (looks about six years old)
6. kite (stuck in tree)

Things I Would Instead Be Looking at if I Had a Time Machine and Could Change the Past

1. a house (big, lovely, mine – purchased before recent property boom)
2. some grass (tidy, well cared for)
3. a tree (engraved on its trunk, eleven-year-old message ‘LG 4 BK’)
4. no moustachioed man
5. a happy son, flying a fabulous kite

Things I’d Like To See, One Day, When Standing This Side of This Fence, Having Accepted The Absence of a Time Machine

1. a house (big, lovely, mine – purchased with proceeds of my new Internet business)
2. some grass (luscious, green and well-deserved)
3. a tree (bark shaven and lacquered)
4. my beautiful wife (kitchen window open, she prepares an evening meal as I return from early evening constitutional)
5. lisa’s son (grown up and considering future now that his father is dead)

Things I Can See After Standing Here For Approximately Seven Minutes Pondering The Future and Making Notes

1. a house (big, lovely, sadly not mine)
2. some grass (darker now the sun has dipped behind house)
3. tree (still engraved on its trunk, ten-year-old message ‘LG 4 DF’ – mocking me)
4. moustachioed man wiping his arse (top window of house remains open, have decided man’s initials probably ‘DF’)
5. crying boy (upset that he is being observed by a stranger, no one can hear him)
6. kite (still stuck in tree)

Things I Would Say to Lisa, If She Were Here Now

1. you have a lovely home
2. your garden needs tending to
3. who is ‘DF’?
4. you should tell ‘DF’ to close the window when he takes a dump
5. why didn’t you go out with me when I asked you twelve years ago?
6. your son’s kite is stuck in that tree

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davidbaillie

David Baillie is a freelance writer and artist. Born almost thirty years ago in Scotland, he now lives and works in the East End of London.

Latest posts by davidbaillie (see all)

• Leaving - 30/07/16
• All Time Is Now - 29/12/15
• Postcards from George - 10/12/12
• The Ice Spiders - 04/12/12
• Late Again - 28/11/12