Flavor Text, or Man Yelling On A Street Corner
Hey, you! Yes, you! Try MEAT.
It’s not cannibalism. Don’t believe the propaganda. Did you know that human beings have been eating the flesh of mammals for thousands upon thousands of solar rotational cycles? It’s true!
There’s no stigma attached to MEAT. Our MEAT is 99% certified synthetic, lab-grown and vat-formed. We culture it, care for it, and sing it happy songs every night. Then we lovingly cut it into strips, marinade it in our special sauce, and voila. Straight from the vat to you. Ahhh… That hits the spot!
Why eat MEAT? It’s part of our human heritage. Robots can’t eat MEAT. Plants can’t eat MEAT. (Mostly). But you and I can. And it tastes great!
Some people like the texture, like an ancient shoe that’s been left out in the sun. Some folks love the smell, like bloody pain, and fire, and burning flesh at a disaster site. And some customers, well, they just love the taste. What does MEAT taste like? Why, it’s indescribable!
So come on, fellow. Try MEAT. Unless you’re a sissy, in which case I don’t want you to try it. What’s that? You’re not a sissy? Then come on down and eat MEAT!