I Don’t Want to Take On Me

Girls who make you mixtapes are the best girls in the world. On this, I shit you not.

(Guys who make mixtapes are, well, guys.)

Anyway. This one girl? She made a friend of mine a mash-up mixtape once. This was before the Grey Album, before mash-ups became a thing. Which means this girl was, like, foreseeing a whole musical…thingie…just to covertly tell my friend she liked him.

We should all be so lucky.

And he didn’t get it! I had to explain it to him, in small words and helpful diagrams!

(I might be lying about the diagrams.)

Although, in his defense, how was he supposed to read romance in a mixtape that contained “Take On Me” mashed up with “I Don’t Want to Grow Up”?

Noooo, not the Ramones one. Tom Waits. Yes.

A-Ha and Tom Fucking Waits, together to express the heartfelt feelings of a girl. On this, I shit you not.

My God, can you imagine what the video would’ve looked like?

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Josh Hechinger is a future writing superstar/cautionary tale. He lives in Pennsylvania.

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