NO FLY ZONE
HOMELAND SECURITY: “LEAVE FLYING CARPETS AT HOME”
Personal aerial transportation will be banned within 50 kilometres of ‘sites of magical interest’, according to a statement issued today by the Department of Homeland Security.
“This is a matter of public safety. The days of daredevil griffon racing over Manhattan… [are now] a thing of the past,” said Dreadlord Azkaroth, chief of Aviation Security at the Department.
“Obviously, this is going to inconvenience a lot of pegasus owners, but with the Threat Level currently at its highest rating, we simply can’t risk another attack on American soil.”
The nation-wide ban is expected to include No-Fly Zones around all major urban bridges, skyscrapers, monuments, wizard towers, personal pocket dimensions, floating cities, war golemns and beanstalks. Any private aircraft found to be in breach of the new zones will be warned three times via telepathy, after which Air Force fighter dragons will be scrambled with orders to neutralise.
Citizen lobby groups have already reacted to the new laws, labeling them ‘draconian’.
“These oppressive laws are yet another example of this administration’s neo-necromantic agenda,” said Jerlyn Starseeker, official spokeself for the Lawful Good Citizens of America.
At this point, Mr Starseeker was forcibly removed from the press conference, charged with treason, and sentenced to lengthy torture and soul-draining (see Obituaries, pg. 97).
The new laws come in the wake of the September 11th, 2001 attack on the World Mana Center, thought to be the work of fundamentalist fire djinn.