All posts by davidbaillie

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Having Replaced All of My Teeth

I have replaced all of my teeth with tiny and perfectly identical mobile phones. I think you call them cell phones. The phones themselves are quite simple devices and not, unfortunately, capable of translating between English and American. That is not their purpose. Neither are

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No Context

Without context information is pure. There’s no attempt at creating meaning from matter. So human a trait. I lie (on my side) on the banks of a river, that’s all I know. I can see what might be the remnants of an old, out-of-use mooring.

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Signposts

The signpost was only partially visible from our vantage point but we decided to use what we had. ‘-allow Street, Captain,’ I called back. The camera spasmed as Johnny pushed it as far as it would go. The Captain looked at Fred The Geek, whose

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0000111001011101010101001

The three best examples of graffiti to be found in the gents toilets in Mile End freehouse The Bad Habit: “bitten vegetarian stage glory” “0000111001011101010101001” “Puff Daddy’s second album was the best.” Rating: 3/10 Our advice: Poop in a better pub. Tweet

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My Lists

List #1 – Things I Like 1. Working on the London to Edinburgh Express (Choo choo!) 2. Getting up after midday 3. Chocolate bars with peanuts in 3. Ann Hathaway’s left ear List #2 – Things I Do Not Like 1. Working on the Edinburgh

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The Thing That Might Not Be

I looked at the thing. What was it? I had no idea. Could I eat it? Probably not. Could I touch it? That was anyone’s guess. Could I lift it? There was no way to tell how heavy it would be. Even describing it seemed