All posts by Alex Jury

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I Would Rather Be Anywhere Else But Here

“What’s it do?” “Well, you see that big glass bit near the top with a sort of circular balcony round it? Well, that lights up – just like a lighthouse does. Only this would have been floating in the sea; they used to put them

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Death and His Best Friend

Henry Patterson was a lugubrious fellow. He spent a great deal of time shaking his head and sighing. He liked to dwell on doom and his colleagues’s teeth were regularly set on edge by his repeated, subdued moans of, ‘Oh dear, oh dearie, dearie me’.

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Playing Monopoly With the Antichrist

If I have one enduring memory of my childhood, it’s lying stretched out on my front on an ancient carpet, my head resting on my arm, staring at a Monopoly board and waiting for the dice to roll. The same memory, over and over again

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Decisions, Decisions

Folic acid – £5.99 Maternity outfits – £600 Yummy Mummy Yoga course – £700 Home birthing pool – £85 First year: £8,853 2-5 years: £12,683 a year 6-11 years: £8,627 a year 12-18 years: £6,177 a year 19-21 years: £13,064 a year Total: £187,168.99 or

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A Spoonful of Sugar

I love wine. I love everything about it. In fact, I would marry wine if I could. If you pushed me, I’d tell you that red’s my favourite. Although I rarely say no to a chilled glass of white; even if it’s a very nice

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Contents

8 white shirts with winged collars 4 cracked mugs, 1 with handle missing 49 pairs of black socks, 1 single black sock 3 cream bath towels 1 cactus 1 cafetiere, in box, unopened 5 pairs dark blue jeans, artfully distressed 2 pairs of pyjamas, one