when she looks.

“I can’t help but wonder, you know, what she thinks when she looks up at the sky, what she feels? If there’s a difference between what she felt looking up into the blue out there and what she feels now, looking up into the blue from behind the fence. Maybe she doesn’t feel anything at all. Could be she doesn’t know any different, she was born here or maybe at some other zoo. Or. Maybe she does. Maybe the air doesn’t smell as good, untouched by the thick, green trees the way it was out there; maybe the wind doesn’t flow through her fur the same way.
It’s not as though the idea behind all of this is inherently dishonorable. It’s not. Quite the contrary, actually. Conservation and that. But there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder the cost to the very species we’re. They’re trying to save. Then there’s another that realizes they wouldn’t even HAVE to be in here if they were safe out there. Then there’s the money issue. Bring money into it and you’ve got a whole other layer of. Shit to deal with. It’s a fucking daunting, self-perpetuating cycle, if you asked me. But then what isn’t, these days?
I guess you could argue that it’s a place like this that can give one the opportunity to appreciate the wildlife we share the earth with. Thing is, though, the regular folks that come here? They’ll never have a voice in this, in trying to fix this fucked-up mess they’ve left for us. That’s pretty fucking obvious. Doesn’t matter how much or how loud we scream, they’ll never fucking listen as long as they hear the sound of money raining down. That’s the bottom line, here. It’s always the bottom line.
Sure it’s depressing. I don’t argue that. And honestly? I can’t really say I have a lot, or any, really. Hope that things will get better. Doesn’t mean I’m willing to shut up about it, either. I don’t know. I kind of feel like with all the destruction, storms and that shit, humanity speeding things along. That it’s mother earth cleansing herself of us.
I need to fucking shut up and enjoy the fucking day. Like, my god, there are worse things to be doing than spending the day at the zoo for a fucking final. I don’t know. It just. Kicked up a lot. Watching her look up at the sky like that.”
Pan Ellington
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