Seven reasons I am in love with Caroline Beth Leute
7. Caroline’s mood can be determined from the state of her hair. Everyday she frets over her hair before she leaves her tiny granny flat, but the instant she steps out the door her locks give away her deepest thoughts. When I first met her, she stepped into our dormitory, pulled off her raincoat hood, and revealed a tousled mass of curls beneath. That day her hair read a mixture of disorientation and freedom.
6. She came into this world knowing everything. It is best not to argue with her because she will win. When we went to the pubs, we hardly paid for more than a drink. It could have been due Caroline’s looks, but mostly our inebriated state stemmed from her winning bets about obscure facts like the percentage of the Earth’s trees that grow in Russia and what happens to cockroaches who are raised in space.
5. She hates to get her feet wet. She once described to me that having wet feet while the rest of her is dry made her feel like her heart was gong to jump out of her chest. One afternoon, I watched her from the shore as she waded into the river in her rain boots. We both laughed at the silliness of her in her boots in the middle of the summer. Suddenly, she stepped in a hole and one of her boots filled with water. I still can hear her screams.
4. She drinks wine out of a box. I could always count on her for fun time on the cheap. She grew out of cooking ramen and sleeping in until 11am, but wine in a box is still her alcoholic drink of choice. Since I often forget this preference, I often find myself having what she’s having. You’d think I’d learn.
3. She will always do that thing you told her not to. I’m sure her parents can back me up on this one. “No, Caroline. The sign says don’t sit in the manger.” Holiday season was always my favorite time with her. Being a rule follower myself, she took me out of my shell. But sometimes, I wish she had listened. “He’s sort of a prick.” I told her when they first started dating.
2. She cries when she is angry. Whether it was because her boss failed to communicate that her hours had changed or when her boyfriend stood her up for the third time, tears streamed down her face. Best not try to console her lest you want a swing towards your face.
1. She has a heart of gold: soft and malleable. She likes to take home stray kittens, always gives handouts to people on the street and never says no to someone in need. More recently she said “yes” to her jerkface boyfriend. The big “yes.” Thank goodness for the boxed wine she left at my flat because I was ready to scream like Caroline with wet feet when I found out. The day she came to tell me about her engagement, her hair that day was soft and settled. She had made up her mind and my heart is left broken.