I saw them in the kitchen in the dark with just enough moonlight to know they were naked and enthralled with each other. I came home a day early. They didn’t hear me over the music. In 12 years of marriage I have never seen him so fearless and so present. He was passive with me but here in our dark kitchen with one of my dearest friends, thinking I was 1,000 miles away, he was completely in charge.

When the feeling came back to my legs I tip-toed to the guest bedroom and waited in the unlit room for an idea to come.

I could burst in screaming.

I could quietly leave and never come back.

I could stay in the dark guest room and surprise him in the morning with a heart-stopping confrontation.

I could text him and tell him I knew what they were doing.

I could disappear for the night and calmly ask him about it later.

I could ask to join them.

I wanted to do all of those things.

I heard them trotting up the stairs and tumble into our bed on the other side of the wall. I learned that our walls were thin.

They went quiet and parted ways just before dawn.

I imagined staying in the guestroom indefinitely and dying of starvation only to be found when the stench of my decomposition got his attention. I love eating too much to let that happen. I was entitled at least to a hearty fry up so I took a shower and started the fry up wondering at what point he would realise I was there. He eventually realised.

We had the big talk – many times. Too many times. We’re still married. They still see each other.

Yesterday, the idea I was waiting for in the unlit guestroom finally came to me. I will be using my husband’s credit card to purchase your services on a weekly basis.

Tell me, do you do sensual massage?

BDSM?

How much for the full boyfriend experience?

Are Fridays good for you?

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Pearl Grey

Pearl Grey fled America in 2008 and followed a little star in the sky until she reached London which seemed like a decent place to stay for a while. She can be found toiling in the City and pottering around Walthamstow.

Latest posts by Pearl Grey (see all)

• The New Chapter - 05/02/16
• 13/09/2015 Image – “Pier 39” by Pearl Grey - 13/09/15
• 23/08/2015 Image by Pearl Grey - 23/08/15
• Not One for the CV - 19/08/15
• Journeys - 11/08/15