Planning and Housing Department,
Corinth District Council,
Our ref: CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-α
Sunday 8th Thargelion 772 BC
Further to our correspondence last month, the Planning Department has concluded its Initial Investigation into the proposed extension to your temple located at 21α Peloponnese Close.
As you will note from our Detailed Planning Guidelines (Document ref: CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-β), available from our offices, we do not allow unsightly modern architectural features and building materials in planning applications.
Your design clearly uses several modern stone columns, of the style popularly referred to as “Doric”. It is the opinion of this council that the Doric Column is an unpleasant “fad”, which we do not expect to last, and is both unsightly and damaging to the architectural integrity of the borough, as well as detrimental to house prices.
The Council’s detailed recommendations on Architectural Design and Materials (Document ref: CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-γ) clearly state that, “The preferred material for columns in religious architectural environs (temples) is wood. Where stone is used, it should be used as the base material only and should not be adorned with decoration.”
In addition you failed to file the necessary paperwork in order for us to consider an Extraordinary Materials and Design Grant of Permission Application (Forms CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-δ and CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-ε).
Therefore we regret to inform you that your planning application for your temple has been denied.
Should you wish to appeal the decision please fill in and return Form CorPAHD/772-C-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-ζ, which is available from the planning office or from your local Post Office, within the next 7 working days.
Philolaus of Corinth,
Assistant Head of Housing and Planning (Planning and Housing Department)
Note: This piece is a response to the following photo: http://elephantwords.co.uk/2015/06/07/the-weight-i-carry-on-my -shoulders/