Mr Smith

“Hi. Hello there. Hi, yes, um,
I was just wondering if you knew, uh
if you know why I’m here?

“Your name please?”

Mr Smith,
Mr Andrew Smith.”

“Just a minute Mr Smith.”


“OK sir, our records show that you’re post-op, so if you could wait right here then a consultant will be with you shortly.”

“Consultant? Why?
Why do,
why do I need a consultant?”

“Mr Smith, it’s compulsory that all our patients recovering from major surgery go through consultation before they’re released.”

“Wait!  I’ve had surgery?
I’m sorry, it just,
it seems a little odd that I’d forget something like that.”

“Well, of course sir, with the nature of your surgery it is very common for … Wait a minute sir, here comes the consultant now – he’ll be able to explain everything to you in much more detail.”

“Good morning Doctor Chilcott.”

“Ah, good morning Valerie, and Mr…

Mr Andrew Smith.”

“Ah yes, Smith, of course it is. I’m pretty sure you’re one of mine.”

“Sir, Mr Smith is post-op, level 3. He’s just waiting for consultation before we send him home.”

“So, you want to go home do you?”

“Well, yes.
I’d like that very much.”

“Right, well I’m sure I can squeeze you in before lunch. Valerie, could you prep my 11:30? This should only take a few minutes. Mr Smith, if you’d like to follow me.”

“OK, thank you.”


“Here we are. If you could close the door behind you and sit down that would be marvellous.”

“Right, Mr Smith, tell me; how do you feel?”

“Well, um,
to tell you the truth, I do feel a little strange. I mean, I can’t remember anything. I,
I don’t know why I’m here?
Have I been in an accident?”

“No, no, nothing like that, I assure you. The memory loss is pretty typical of someone whose been through your process – nothing to worry about really – but how are you physically? Any aches or pains? Joints working properly? Senses activated?

“Yes, I guess. Physically I feel fine,
it’s just the …”

“Fantastic. That really is fantastic. Well, we’ll just take a quick look at that head of yours shall we – see what’s going on upstairs.”

“Um, OK but …”

“Jolly good. Right I’m just going to strap this on …
There we go. Now we’re going to take a quick scan of your brain, check for any signs of swelling, uh possible fluid retention or internal bleeding.”

“Internal bleeding?”

“Just a precaution Mr Smith. We wouldn’t want to send you home with any internal glitches now, would we? Now eyes up please Mr Smith. Eyes down…Left…Right. Well, Mr Smith, everything seems to be in perfect working order. Would you like to ask any questions before we send you out into the big, wide world?”

yes I would.
No-ones told me a bloody thing. I,
I have no idea where I am or what I’m doing here.”

“No memory at all? Well, we have done a good job on you Mr Smith, haven’t we! You’re in what’s called a memory bank. You came in yesterday morning to ‘donate’ some of your memories to us – only ones that you won’t miss of course – that’s why you may be experiencing a certain fuzziness to your recollections. Anything that you can’t remember, any holes or gaps in your memories are there because we’ve um, how can I put this, ‘extracted’ and collected those memories.”

“But why,
why would I do that?”

“For credits of course. Why else does anybody do anything? You are being recompensed quite heavily may I say Mr Smith, and we get to collect a healthy bank of memories to give to our clones.”

“I, I still don’t understand.”

“The truth is, Mr Smith, we can replicate the human body with no problem, but the brain, well that’s a bit trickier. You see the clone brain simply won’t believe that it’s begun its life as a fully grown adult – as most working clones are – I’m sure you know. So the body rejects the organ and simply shuts itself down. We lost a whole harvest of clones for that very reason in the first year, absolute disaster! That’s where you come in Mr Smith; you need some credit so you sell us some of your memories, which we then implant into the clone brain. The brain thus believes it’s had a genuine history, that’s it’s the brain of a real person, the body accepts it and we have a fully operational worker.”

“So, let me just get this straight, you,
you take out my memories, I mean physically extract them from my head, and then you put them inside a clone.”

“Yes, that’s about the long and short of it, all totally legal of course – here’s your signature from yesterday morning. Can you see? Now, Mr Smith, if you’d like to take yourself to reception, they’ll sort out your credit transfer for you, and return your passport, house keys and car keys.”

“But, but, I still have questions.”

“Yes, yes, I know – always so many questions. Here’s my card, there’s a hotline number you can call and we’ll send out a memory bank counsellor to talk through any worries you have. Now, if you don’t mind I have my next patient to see. Thank you Mr Smith and good luck.”

“Um. OK, thank you doctor. Have a good day”

“Goodbye. Please shut the door behind you.”



“Valerie my dear, is our next Mr Smith primed and ready?”

“Yes Doctor Chilton. Subject X13YA is in theatre 6, being prepped for memory insertion as we speak.”

“Fantastic, thank you Valerie, I’ll be down in three minutes. And Valerie?”

“Yes sir.”

“Could you please order me a chicken mayo baguette – I’m absolutely famished.”

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Tim Waltho

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