For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow
Sorry to interrupt, but you really don’t need to worry about me. He’s a good egg.
I know what you think, but he’s not a control freak or anything. It’s just because of the way he was brought up – he likes to have things planned out, and if they don’t go according to plan he gets really upset and stressed out. It’s not his fault.
He’s had a really hard life, you know. It’s ok for you, with your lovely middle-class, cosy ‘four musketeers’ still-together-after-all-these-years family. I’m from a broken home as well, I know how hard it is. You don’t.
That’s why I think it’s so brave of him to want to get married – and after such a short time. But, like he says, we’ve both seen marriages go horribly wrong so we know how to make ours absolutely perfect so there’s nothing to worry about. No arguments in our house! And actually that’s true, we don’t argue at all – I’m really easygoing and chilled out so it doesn’t matter if he likes things planned out, I’m happy to go with the flow.
And he’s brilliant with money! Thank God, one of us has to be. He’s right – I’m so ditsy with money! Now that he’s in charge we’re not going to miss any bills and we’ve got a savings account we put all our spare cash in for holidays and stuff. It’s such a weight off my mind – since I stopped that accountancy job I’ve got really rubbish with numbers, thank god he’s taking care of it all.
I can’t wait to be married, he’s such a wonderful man. I’m so lucky. Oh that stuff you brought up about him losing it a bit last week? I really don’t want you to worry – he was beaten up by his stepdad all the time when he was a kid and it’s made him a bit jumpy. It’s not his fault. And like he says – he’s so sweet – he’s met the perfect woman now and I’m going to make it all up to him, everything.
I’m sorry, I know we’ve been at each other’s throats a bit tonight and it’s really not because of that – you and me are cool – but I really do have to get home now. I have to be back by 9pm. It’s not because he doesn’t like me being out without him – hell no, I’m way too feisty to put up with any of that nonsense! – it’s just that, did you know that the likelihood of sexual assault increases tenfold after dark? I didn’t know that before he told me, so now I always make sure I’m back home. I know that makes it pretty early in the winter but, better safe than sorry.