Mine’s a Stella

You’d be surprised what people ask for. It’s usually guilt that drives it, if you ask me. They didn’t do right by that person while they were alive, or perhaps they didn’t make the effort to see old mum or dad as much as they should have done, or maybe they stuck their elderly relative in a nursing home and never gave them a second thought until now. Whatever’s behind it some people do ask for the most ridiculous headstones.

Great big marble things, 6ft angels, statue of the departed loved one – I even got asked for a mini-Stonehenge once. Course, I’m happy to make all these things but the boss is dead against it. No pun intended. Very traditional and thinks his customers should be too – sees them off the premises in the most polite way you can imagine if they want anything unorthodox.

Course, that’s opened an opportunity or two for me. It depends where it’s going to go – if it’s the cemetery up the road, or the churchyard in town then, well, I can’t risk it. But if it’s for somewhere out of town and the boss has stomped off upstairs after he’s seen them off the premises, it gives me the chance to catch up with them outside and offer to see if I can do something for them.

Doesn’t bother me what they want. Big fancy angels, complicated scroll things, obelisks, statues…I even made a marble can of Stella Artois once. But if that’s how they want to be remembered, that’s fine by me and I’ve made a small fortune for this cash in hand, wink wink, nudge nudge stuff. It just goes in my bank account – for a rainy day. I should make up my mind what to do with it really. After all, you can’t take it with you.

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Alex Jury

Alex Jury

Alex Jury is a retired cowgirl, now working as a copywriter in London. She loves working with words but misses all the lassoing.
Alex Jury

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