It’s not a conventional way to get to a wedding, I admit. No classic car with white ribbons, just an old boat. But then we’re not a conventional couple – as many people have reminded us. It’s a mixed marriage, yes, and you’d be surprised at how much prejudice there still is about that sort of thing. We’ve had all sorts of outrageously unkind comments, stuff about culture clashes, not mixing ‘species’ – things you wouldn’t believe. Well, let them – that’s what my girl says. They can say what they like.
She’s always up for an adventure. When I suggested sailing away together to get married on an island she said yes immediately. And she didn’t baulk even when I said it would take us over a year to get there in this little boat. I think she’s just as relieved as I am to leave all the disapproval far behind us: there’s no way that either of our families would come to the wedding.
You might think that a year with nothing much to do in a tiny boat would be boring but we find a lot to pass the time. I brought my guitar and I sing to her, songs I make up all about how beautiful she is. And I tried to make it a home from home, the boat was white originally but I painted it pea green, her favourite colour, and I think she feels very comfortable indeed.
Food was a bit of a conundrum, of course. What could last a year in a boat? Honey, is the answer, and – rather unusually – my girl’s a vegetarian so she’s perfectly content with that. When we get to dry land, of course, there’ll be no expense spared – we’ll be eating in all the best places, feasting on whatever we like. And in the meantime, I’ve made sure we won’t starve.
Because I brought some honey.
And plenty of money.
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
We’re going to be so happy.