Its the look in her eye.
I’m often asked how i deal with my demons. After all, I’ve got enough of them – the drink, the drugs, the women. The banks, I guess, given that the other three seem to involve spending money I don’t always – strictly speaking – have. Another morning waking up in a sweat soaked bed in a flat, somewhere in London and staring blearily into a mirror wondering what is the least painful way of getting into a taxi without hangover-searing shouting matching with a strange woman. Well I suppose its usually still London. And usually a woman.
So friends ask me how I deal with it all. Aren’t you too old for this sort of nonsense? Shouldn’t you look after yourself properly? Don’t worry that you’ll get hurt? Well, yes, yes and yes, obviously. I’m not stupid. That mirror doesn’t show me getting handsomer, does it? But more drinks, more drugs, more (usually) women and pow! its like being in my twenties again.
So what keeps me going? I’ll tell you.
I’ve got this statue I saw in a Garden centre a few years back, and thought was pretty cool, sparkling in the sunshine. I think I was on something, because really it’s a just a grey lump of machined stone. But its this Indian Goddess, and she’s fighting a demon, and she’s festooned with swords and bows and stuff, and kicking this thing around all over the place. But her face is calm, like shes just off waiting for the checkout at Tesco, not fighting this horrible demon thing thats been terrorising the lands.
Which means that I can sit on the sofa and look at my bank statements, nurse a hangover, worry about that new rash, or whatever, and I can look at her sat up on the sideboard, still calm, still kicking that demon-thing in the nuts. And thats the answer, for me. Whatever your problems are, no matter how bad, just ride out and face them. serene as a goddess. Thats what demons are for – to be fought.