Reality’s Not Much Better
Contributed by
Oke Dafe on 22/08/12
I feel old and tired and about ready to give up.
The shower was cleansing but there was no sense of revival. I clamber over the bath and watch myself emerge in the foggy mirror. I can only just make out my face but I’m surprised by how…ordinary I look. It’s been a tough year so far. One long series of mistakes and regrets.
It’s so hard to keep up a sunny disposition. That’s the most exhausting part of all of this. I don’t even know who I’m pretending for. Everyone has their problems but these are mine! Why do I hide them away? Why am I always so fucking accommodating?!
I wish the past could be wiped away as easily as condensation on a steamed mirror.
Sorry about the last line! Wiping out the past was my first thought when I saw the image; I could’ve been a bit more subtle but I ran out of time.
If you hadn’t explained it, this wouldn’t have felt rushed to me, Oke. It’s tense but I think that’s appropriate, and the directness and brevity makes sense as a real slice of time – a moment’s reflection and colliding-thoughts – that may even be a turning point in the bigger story of our narrator’s life. Nice.
I agree with George… if the piece wasn’t so brief and heartfelt, the final line might seem a bit full-on, but as it is I think it works. Comes off as poetic, and also very raw – frustrated and resigned at the same time.