We’re always leaving Post-its and other little scrawled notes for each other around the flat. They’re usually little quips accompanied by stickmen self-portraits, but occasionally it’s something a bit more titillating. She’s usually the author of the more naughty notes, I’m really rubbish when it comes to that sort of thing. She says she doesn’t mind but it’s always really bothered me. I’m always on the lookout for something truly sexy to say. You know, without overtones of self-consciousness or plagiarism. Unfortunately that only leaves me with puns, cheesiness or outright smut. I long for something subtle. When she was out the other day, I was finally hit by a moment of a genius out of nowhere. I took to the light switch with a biro and then spent the next few hours trying to feign nonchalance. She questioned why I’d drawn a kinky Adolf Hitler but it eventually had the desired effect.