A Jigsaw Made from Previous Things
I was using the force to walk all the way back from watching Men In Black 3 (very good, by the way) when I stumbled across a rogue jigsaw piece on the pavement. At this point I should point out that I’m not very tall. (I say I’m five inches tall, but I’m actually about four an’ a half. And when you’re under the big Five Double Dash the smallest of human debris can ruin your evening stroll. Honestly! It once took me a good three minutes to get free of a mountain of used gum. Listen to me – how American do I sound? Gum! It’s all the Yank Telly I watch. I misplaced the remote you see and it’s been stuck on the channel that repeats all the HBO. Last night they had a great modern day re-imagining of The Artful Dodger starring Ray Winstone and the geezer from The Wire. You know – the one that was in the BBC Three Lembit Opic biopic last year – Dog Without A Bone, I think it was called.)
Anyway – I got a right ankle limp from that falling about and fancied a drink. So I popped into the Three Lions, One Dog – you know, across Mile End park. The one with the dodgy Yugoslavian sports channel and the owners who are cousins but might also be married. Lovely drop of Guinness there. Just sitting on a table beside a beer mat, it was.
So I supped that up without anyone noticing me and I felt much better. And I thought ‘To this place I shall return’. ‘Cos I love talking like Yoda, me.