Excerpts From A Religious Pamphlet I was handed outside the DLR station in Woolwich Arsenal

Contributed by on 08/06/12

Howling Mad Murdock Prepares the Way

4And so Howling Mad Murdock appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. 5 The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. 6 Howling Mad Murdock wore clothing made of camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. 7 And this was his message: “After me comes the one more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. 8 I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the A Team Spirit.”

The Baptism and Testing of Hannibal Smith

9 Hannibal came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by Howling Mad Murdock in the Jordan. 10 Just as Hannibal was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

12 At once the Spirit sent him out into the wilderness, 13 and he was in the wilderness forty days,being tempted by General Fulbright. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

Hannibal Announces the Good News

14 After Howling Mad Murdock was put in prison, Hannibal went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. 15 “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of B.A. Barracus has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Hannibal Calls His First Disciples

16 As Hannibal walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Templeton “Faceman” Peck and B.A. casting a net into the lake. 17 “Come, follow me,” Hannibal said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 18 At once they left their nets and followed him.

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