Cailín Álainn
The first thing Lisa asked when she saw the ocean was whether he had a blanket in the trunk of his car.
‘No,’ Chris said. ‘I’ve never needed one.’
‘Then you should go to the beach more often,’ she said. ‘Jesus, if I lived in this country, I’d be down all the time. Here, pull over.’
He pulled the car off the main road and up into one of the sandy parking bays that was marked out with faded lines. The tyres crunched over the sand as he came to a stop and it was still early morning; he could feel the warning presence of the sun on his forearm resting on the open window, promising the day would be hot. Before he’d even turned the ignition off she was unbuckling her seat belt and opening the door.
‘Come on, then,’ she said. ‘We’re going for a swim.’
She was down on the shore as he was still locking the car. She pushed one shoe off with the toe of the other before steadying herself with her hand and removing the second, setting them high and neat on an outcropping of rock. She looked around only briefly before slipping the straps of last night’s dress down over her shoulders and stepping out of it in her underwear.
Chris watched her as she waited for him. Her body was slim and pretty, her blonde hair was light and she unselfconsciously tucked a wayward strand behind her ear. With the summer, her skin had tanned to a light, dusky brown.
‘Hurry up!’ she shouted, smiling. ‘I’m still a little drunk, and you need to watch I don’t drown!’
She took her time walking down to the water, throwing a backwards glance over her shoulder to see Chris strip down to his boxers. When he was done he broke into a chase, his feet pushing out against the sand and she laughed and ran into the surf.
He waded out to meet her, slowed by the pull of the water, and she called something out to him.
‘What?’ he yelled.
‘I said, it’s fecking freezing!’ she yelled back. She stood with the sea reaching up above her midriff; her arms locked around her chest.
‘What did you expect?’ he said, suddenly aware himself as the cold water splashed up and over his waist, turning his boxers from light to dark blue.
She saw the look on his face and clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle another laugh.
‘Told you so,’ she said, as he finally caught her. And then she moved quickly to shove him in the chest. Unbalanced and unexpecting, Chris fell back, throwing a hand out automatically to catch her slender, damp wrist, pulling her down too.
The sea wrapped around him, a cold, sharp shock that embraced him in an instant. She tumbled down on top of him, a weight that was at once welcome and obtrusive as her hip caught him in the middle of his thigh.
He broke back up through the spray and blinked rapidly, running the back of his hand across his eyes so he could see. She took longer than he did to regain her feet, spitting salt and pulling her wet hair back. The water was better for both of them now, the sun drying the foam on their skin.
‘Well,’ she said. ‘At least it tastes better than the fecking Atlantic.’
georgelondon
You wrote an Irish woman and you didn’t give her red hair? What kind of stereotypeophobe are you?
Great write though Simon. I was smiling from about the sixth paragraph in until the end. That kind of image will do that for me.
But that’s kind of the point with good writing isn’t it? It nudges your mood in one direction, nudges you again and then again until you don’t realise it’s actually shifted your mood. And it’s dictated how you react to what comes next – either around you or with regard to what the writer gives you next.
The winter sun outside my window is pushing confidently through those clouds, but the breeze coming in from my window is coooold! But I fancy a skinny dip. Good job I’m nowhere near a sea or you might have to come rescue my frozen arse!
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georgelondon
Had to look up what the title means but I don’t think that mattered. It just set me up with a Celtic mood before I started reading, and I looked it up after I’d read it a couple of times and it gave me something else. Nice.
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Simon Smithson
I’ve never actually met a redheaded Irish woman – and believe me, we get a bunch of them over here.
Thanks George! I will always encourage going for a swim; if you start to freeze then just shout my name loudly and repeatedly, I’m sure I’ll hear you eventually.
The damn title was the hardest part. Fortunately, an Irish girl taught me that phrase once, so it’s come in very handy.
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georgelondon
The redheads freckle and burn in the sun like the witches that they allegedly are, that may be why.
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Rivka Jacobs
Wonderfully written, great use of descriptive language to evoke an emotional reaction from the reader.
I grew up in South Florida and was at the beach a lot, and reading this, it was like I was back there; I could taste and hear and sense everything so vividly. You’ve brought to life the physical environment of the story — this is smooth and elegant writing.
But I think the best part of this piece is how you progress the characterization, the emotional component of the couple, kind of folded into the exquisite setting. “… a weight that was at once welcome and obtrusive….” Very nice writing; the two are in a way at play, but their relationship is in-play, so to speak.
Also, (I don’t know if you deliberately did this or not), I like how you not only used the landscape to comment on the relationship of this man and woman, but then started blending the couple as unique individuals into the natural world at the end.
And since George looked it up, I went and looked up the title too. It is meaningful, very nice!
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Simon Smithson
Thanks Rivka! I was trying to get the balance write between too descriptive and not descriptive enough; nice to know I got to where I wanted to.
Short though the piece was, yes, I wanted to work with the movements of the characters and the way they bounced off the landscape; nice to know that worked too!
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georgelondon
It fascinates me how much of our own perspectives we bring to what we read – especially with the short stories where the writer often doesn’t spell everything out for us!
The Celtic title for me (before I translated it) put me geographically in Ireland and the beach may have been sandy and a ‘hot’ day may have been promised, but in my head that’s where we were. The last line sent me back to look for where I’d made the wrong assumptions.
Having said that, I so completely missed all that stuff that Rivka talks about that at some point I’m gonna have to read it a few more times anyway.
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Simon Smithson
The title certainly helped me in terms of setup; in my head, the beach was in Australia so it’s interesting to see how it moved someone else’s perception of the piece.
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Camping in New Jersey
This is a really cool story. It made me feel like I was right there with them.
Camping in New Jersey
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Simon Smithson
Thanks! If I’m ever camping in New Jersey, I’ll be sure to call you.
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k10
“‘Told you so,’ she said, as he finally caught her. And then she moved quickly to shove him in the chest. Unbalanced and unexpecting, Chris fell back, throwing a hand out automatically to catch her slender, damp wrist, pulling her down too.”
Nice, SS, per always. :)
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Simon Smithson
Thanks, k10. Appreciate it :)
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Paty Cockrum
and here it set up a totally different mood in me… maybe it is just my orientation…LOL
I was waiting for her to become a mermaid and drag him down to be with her under the sea… which, of course, whould have killed him… humans being fragile and not adaptable to the cool, dark depths…
LOL
the enticing, come into the sea with me feeling said mermaid or selkie to me…LOL
Beware, Simon, you could be weaving magickal stories…not mundane…
LOLOL
Paty
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Simon Smithson
Interesting… if a pooka comes and knocks on my door tonight, I’ll know where he popped up from (although it’s a long way to trek from Banba).
Thanks Paty – for reading, and for seeing the unseen!
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Bridgeen Gillespie
I know I’ve said so else where, but in the photo the beach really was in Ireland. North west coast to be precise. Which amusingly threw me by the end of your story, because it really was the fecking atlantic! lol!
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Bridgeen Gillespie
Also very nice choice of title, I assume you were aware of the nautical song? Other intereste readers can find a translation here – http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27970
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Simon Smithson
HA! Fecking Atlantic indeed…
Thanks Bridgeen – I wasn’t actually aware of the nautical song; I’ll have to see if I can find it sung on YouTube or somewhere…
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Nicolas Papaconstantinou
Lovely writing, Simon. Lisa is a beautifully written girl… I’m obviously a much more superficial reader than many of the other commenters because I just kind of wanted to be Chris throughout this.
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