You know, it’s quite clichéd but it’s always women who come here, and always over a certain age, if you know what I mean? You don’t get many young ones. Not often, not here. But the odd time you get a younger girl, it’s faddish for them, only one or two genuinely have the interest. You know a real one when you see them. They are a little like an addict, intense. They have their own language. To be honest I sometimes barely muddle through. I do my best to supply them with what they want, but some of them can never be sated. It’s just as well I guess, for this is a business after all. They want all colours, in infinite variations. They are looking for something new and fresh, or something very old and antiquated. For some of them what you have to offer is never good enough. Their ideal matchless. But it is unusual for any to leave empty handed.
Of course it’s not really a ‘bar’ as such, that’s just a nick-name, but they sometimes have a drink. That’s hot drinks mostly. Milk is always in demand. And biscuits and buns work well for bribery- just don’t let them catch you at it. You’ve got to make it seem uncontrived. And if you sit still long enough, be polite or even quiet enough, you might find yourself included in the chat.
These women do it for love, not money. You could never pay them for their services, their workmanship (womanship?) There is no realistic price you could pin on the skill involved. It has to come as a favour. That’s why I’m here. To mediate. You come to me with the request, and I do my best for you. If you are lucky one of them takes it on. I’ve seen allsorts now, long sought after babies, marriages, prodigal children, all kinds of loves and losses. Some use machines, others swear by hand only. But what you receive is a piece of practical magic, concentrated good will, a meditation on life, something that is timeless and enduring. You receive comfort, always.
It’s a rare art and I can’t promise you anything. But if you are interested and you think you could benefit you should definitely go. Sorry, didn’t I tell you how to find it? It’s called the ‘Mission’ Bar. When you find it you’ll know. Look out for the welcome sign.