Wait… What?
He recklessly, foolishly hid from the light,
Cowered in fear, trembled in fright,
Hid from the rays of a bright burning Sun,
Hid from a life of laughter and fun,
Curled up in a corner full of dark and despair,
Complaining to no-one that life was unfair,
Put all of his world in a big cardboard box,
Unplugged the phone and changed all the locks,
Railed against life that had been so unkind,
Retreated for days into his own mind,
He put bars on the windows and sealed up the doors,
And pointed his finger at an invisible cause,
Of all of the misery, all of the woe,
All of the pain that his heart had to know,
And sat writing couplets that barely did rhyme,
Never realising they were a waste of his time,
For life is for living, not sitting afraid,
A cliché, I know, but the point must be made,
Unbar the windows, unlock the doors,
Stop pointing fingers, for you are the cause,
Of the rampant unhappiness that fills your life,
So end it all, quickly, I’ll hand you a knife.
dan lester
I’d like this on a tshirt
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georgelondon
Would have to be an XXXL. Or really small font.
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Rivka Jacobs
I had no idea where you were going with this, until the very end, when a kind of doubling occurs, and third person narration splits giving birth to another part of the protagonist. I’m over-thinking this, I’m sure. But it seemed that the guy who is hiding from the world and writing his couplets, goes off the deep end and is so unhappy that he produces another *self* to get his life back under control.
Technically speaking, you did an excellent job revealing the story in the context of the rhymes. The couplets themselves were very well done, too. I’t hard as heck to find words that are appropriate, valid, and rhyme at the same time.
An interesting story-poem.
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Cyn
This is just awesome. I can’t decide if I liked it more once I got to the last line, or less. I kind of love that I feel that way.
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Nicolas Papaconstantinou
Poetry! Rhyming couplets!
Fun, Ian, fun indeed. I mean, morbid, I know, but still fun.
I always find it hard not to get all revved up by rhyming couplets.
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