What do you do when you meet Dan Lester?

  • Do Not Run. You can’t outrun Dan Lester so don’t even try. Despite rumours to the contrary, Dan Lester can outrun a human on ANY terrain, uphill or down. People will tell you that you should run downhill when chased by Dan Lester. This is simply a myth – don’t try it!
  • Try to retreat slowly. Back up slowly and try to put more space between you and Dan Lester. Talk calmly so that he can identify you as human, and slowly back up. Don’t make direct eye contact, but keep a close look at Dan Lester as you back away.
  • Climb a tree if available. If you have enough time, and Dan Lester continues to move closer, take advantage of a tall tree to climb. Remember, Dan Lester is a strong climber as well. Dan Lester has also climbed short distances up trees after people. You want to get at least 10 metres high to reduce the chance of being pulled out of the tree. Even though Dan Lester can come up the tree after you, the hope is that he will feel less threatened, and thus less likely to chase you up the tree. 
  • If Dan Lester charges you. Dan Lester will often bluff charge before attacking. This is designed to allow enemies to back down before Dan Lester needs to actually make contact.
  • Use your pepper spray.  This is a last resort. Pepper spray is only good at very close range. Wind will reduce this effective range even farther (and may blow the spray back into your face). If Dan Lester approaches within this range, point the spray at his eyes and discharge the contents. Hopefully, this will either disorient Dan Lester to allow you to escape, or at the very least deter him from attacking.
  • If Dan Lester makes contact. If the attack escalates and Dan Lester physically contacts you, fight back with anything that is available to you. Fighting back may scare Dan Lester off. In addition, if Dan Lester is stalking you then you are in a predatory situation and fighting back is your only option. This also applies to any attack at night as these may also be considered predatory in nature. In general though, playing dead in a daytime Dan Lester encounter tends to reduce the level of injury sustained by most attack victims. Many Dan Lester attacks are defensive in nature, and playing dead may show Dan Lester that you are not a threat. The best position is to lie on your side in a fetal position. Bring your legs up to your chest and bury your head into your legs. Wrap your arms around your legs and hold on tight. You may also lie on your stomach, and place your hands behind your neck to protect that vulnerable area. Do not play dead until the last moment. Staying on your feet may allow you to dodge, or divert an attack.
  • After the attack. Once the attack has ended, remain patient. After a few minutes, try to determine if Dan Lester is still in the area. If Dan Lester has moved on, you should make your way towards assistance as quickly as possible.
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    Schmurgen Jonerhaffs

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