after the breakup, option #7
“Just — could you — could you just back off a little, please? Back up, I mean. You’re in my bubble.”
“Whatever, crazy bubble girl.”
“What?”
“Your bubble?”
“My bubble. Of course my bubble.”
I hold out my arms, hands drooping downward to indicate the approximate shape, size and curve of the bubble.
“My bubble. My personal space. My privacy bubble. What? Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“No, I know what you’re talking about. It’s just…we’ve known each other how long now? Nine months or something? And I’m not allowed in your bubble?”
“Don’t give me the pouty lip, mister. Everyone needs a bubble. It’s not like it’s, like, against you or anything.”
“Hrm.”
“Look, it’s different now. It’s different than it was when we were dating. ‘Just Friends’ doesn’t mean, ‘everything’s the same except no kissing.’ ‘Just Friends’ means everything changes. Including my bubble.”
“You women are full of rules.”
“Yes. Yes we are. Full of rules to protect our fragile little hearts.”
“Okay. Whatever.”
“Don’t ‘whatever’ me. You’re the one who wanted to be Just Friends.”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
“Nope. No sir, we surely do not.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Rivka Jacobs
Your stories read like mini-plays, Cyn. Excellent dialogue, but also a story folded into the dialogue, unfolded very subtly. Here is the old “can’t we be just friends” routine, usually the euphemism for “breakup” which you tell us immediately in the title. The girl is, in a sense, negotiating with the guy, teaching him something, but he doesn’t quite get it.
There’s no gender attached to these roles, though. It could be either the male or the female who does the “Let’s be friends” schtick. In this story, it’s the guy, but she is handling his unreliability with finesse.
I like that you used the word “bubble” instead of space, or shield, or something else. A bubble is such a fragile thing, that can be broken. Or, ones dreams can be burst like a bubble.
Again, your writing is so good, your choice of words perfect. Another fine story.
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dan lester
I have no bubble.
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Andrew Cheverton
This is nicely done, the dialogue speaking volumes. They say a picture paints a thousand words, but sometimes a story’s dialogue (or, as here, a story composed entirely of dialogue) can say more than prose could in the space.
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