When I was nine years old I met the woman with the most beautiful neck in the world. She was called Helga Raffenstaffer, and she was friend of my parents, and one week I had to stay with her in her little cottage while my mother was ill. It was strange time. I remember one nigh I get up in night for drink and accidentally walk in on a room full of naked people.
She had a boyfriend called Tony who I didn’t like, he was a short angry Cuban immigrant with a scar through his eyebrow. He was always talking about seizing power and introducing people to his little friend, but I never found out what he meant. One day we went on what seemed like an epic quest to get some fried cheicken from the local village, but this being a village in Norway in early nineties we ended up settling for a fresh rabbit.
Tony often claimed that he was raised in the jungle by apes, and had spent years in mexico as a masked wrestler, but I didn’t believe that, any more than his claims of have been involved in organised crime in Philadelphia, the city in America, where he say there is still a man with one eye who wants him dead in revenge.
Eventualy my mother got better and I went home. I was glad even though I missed Helga. I heard recently that she and Tony have quintiplets and have been living in new york for eleven years

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Schmurgen Jonerhaffs

Latest posts by Schmurgen Jonerhaffs (see all)

• Ten things you Do Not put in an upturned Traffic Conn - 15/12/09
• An Embarrassing Toilet - 09/12/09
• The Annual Meeting - 03/12/09
• Not as easy as i remembered - 28/11/09
• My exciting new career - 21/11/09