Johnny Tucker’s Second Rule
Johnny Tucker’s second rule of child rearing is that as a parent, your responsibility is to fill your offspring’s head with as much absolute nonsense as possible.
This is why, on his daughter’s fourth birthday, he has convinced her that if she gets enough of the balloons that they blew up special for her party, and walks with enough of a skip in her step on this fine but blustery day, her feet will leave the ground and she will fly away…
It’s testament to the girl’s spirit that she took this as a challenge, rather than as a notion that will haunt the rest of her nights. But then, that’s kind of why Johnny Tucker came up with the rule.
The first and third rules aren’t relevant right now. There are, of course, only the three rules. This is something that Johnny Tucker felt was very important. There’s a rule of three when it comes to such things.
People have said – both behind Johnny Tucker’s back, and to his face – that this is a cruel way to go about raising a child. That a child needs stability, and boundaries. That a child needs a sense of what is within the realms of possibility, and what will always be out of their reach, and that it’s cruel to fill their heads with ideas that will ill-equip them for the rigid structure of the world beyond their childhoods.
But those people have missed the point, and Johnny Tucker, knowing that they won’t see things his way, just lets them carry on thinking the worst of him, without explaining his reasons.
See, Johnny Tucker loves his kids, and everything about his three rules – only the second of which, as previously related, is important right now – is because of his hopes for them.
Johnny Tucker wants his kids to be able to fly. Or to read people’s minds. Or move things with a thought. And the way Johnny Tucker sees things, the only way to make it happen is to make it happenable.
The way he sees it, if his kids don’t know it’s impossible, than in their world, it’s possible.
And that’s the way Johnny Tucker runs things. That’s why he’s got his rule. That’s what he believes, and till something happens to prove things otherwise, we’ve got no way of telling him he’s wrong.
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