Long and Lonesome
PAGE 1
4 PANELS – LONG HORIZONTAL PANELS STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER
PANEL 1
A long lonesome stretch of highway. Red rocks off to the sides. Empty, desolate, the kind of country Satan himself wouldn’t bother with. In the distance, a lone speck glints in the dying sunlight.
CAPTION: Brice would have stopped at Kingman.
PANEL 2
That speck comes into view, it’s a car, red, matching the lone and level sands and the towering ruins of rock that break them up. It kicks up dust behind it.
CAPTION: I’ve never owned my own car. He was good for things like that. I just know that you put gas in it, it goes. Sometimes you have to change the oil. It must run out or go bad or something.
PANEL 3
CU of the car, there’s an attractive redhead driving. Her name is JEANNE. She is gorgeous, but has a rushed appearance to her. She puts on lipstick in the rearview.
CAPTION: I’ll have to change the oil once I get there. Change, not replace. It must go bad, not run out.
PANEL 4
XCU of the cap being placed back on the lipstick tube. Jeanne’s fingers are not as pristine as we would expect from someone putting on lipstick on the highway. The nails aren’t painted. There’s grease on one hand.
CAPTION: Might just get a new car.
PAGE 2
5 PANELS – ONE MORE PANEL, BUT ARRANGED LIKE THE PREVIOUS PAGE
PANEL 1
Jeanne sits in the car, staring at the road. As the panel progresses, it bleeds into another image: A man in an alley, bleeding out.
CAPTION: Probably need new plates by now anyway. Learned a few tricks from Brice.
PANEL 2
The alley, a man bleeds out, and Jeanne presses his wounds with his shirt. Panic is in her eyes. He doesn’t understand what’s going on.
CAPTION: Didn’t learn how to black it out. Not feel remorse. Not feel terror at watching someone fade away. The sick where you think you’re going to die to, and you can feel it in your chest, just like you caught your own slugs.
PANEL 3
A top down view of the car, we see through the roof to Jeanne, and the trunk, filled with duffel bags of guns and money, all clearly labeled by their own caption boxes. Captions 1 and 2 over the trunk, caption 3 with an arrow to Jeanne.
CAPTION 1: GUNS
CAPTION 2: MONEY
CAPTION 3: THE PLAN
PANEL 4
A profile of Jeanne, fiddling through her purse as she drives. A shadow is crossing her face.
CAPTION: Mom doesn’t get anything. Jimmy might get something, if I ever find out where he’s living. The rest is going to me. To something new. I finally get to start over. So many songs, one’s on the radio right now, and they know exactly how I’m feeling.
PANEL 5: Jeanne’s car is drifting over the line on the highway. A shadow has fallen over it where sun shines all around.
CAPTION: 150 empty miles between me and starting over.
PAGES 3 and 4
SPLASH PAGE – SINGLE IMAGE
COLLISION! A massive 18-wheeler slams into Jeanne’s car, and the devastation is horrendous. Metal crunches and buckles and gas pools and glass shatters and splinters and flies away. Jeanne lurches forward out of her seat on target to the asphalt.
CAPTION: 150 miles to freedom.
File folder labels
The captions are well written with humor.
Reply
Matthew Hartwell
Thanks FFL! It’s a continuation of a piece from a few weeks back entitled Checkout Time, if you’re interested in getting a bigger picture.
http://elephantwords.co.uk/2009/02/20/check-out-time/
Reply
Nicolas Papaconstantinou
I find it quite appealing that you’ve responded so sincerely to what I’m pretty sure is a spam comment, and as such I’m going to leave the original right there!
Reply
Matthew Hartwell
Haha, yeah, I had clicked on their name and even perused the office supplies for awhile, and debated between snarky response and sincere response, and decided that if an automated computer script loves me that much, the least I can do is be polite.
Reply
Nicolas Papaconstantinou
You know, people survive worse in comics, right? Right?
I wonder whether that last panel actually has MORE impact in script form than it would in comic form? Tough call – it made me feel a little queasy, it was that out of the blue!
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