Matt Wakes Up
Contributed by
davidbaillie on 10/01/09
And looks about him. As his eyes become accustomed to the new morning, he realises that he’s in bed. What is strange is that he’s not alone. Crowded.
He tries to get up but soon realises that, somehow, in the night, he has become a crude two-dimensional representation of himself. His face, flat and unrendered, his hair reduced to a couple of dozen pixels.
Pixels?
Oh no. He isn’t even a child’s hurried crayon sketch. He is on the Internet.
He begins to sob, but someone presses F5 to see if there are any new comments on today’s post and
Matt Wakes Up
Matthew Hartwell
I originally read that line as, “his hair seduced to a couple of dozen pixels.” The story had a very strange bend before that, but then, wham! Digi-sex.
But that wasn’t there at all. That was just in my head, with the rest of the snickering thirteen year old egos hiding there.
I tried pressing F5 to refresh the page, but on a MacBook, that’s the volume increase button. So I tried fn+F5, and my computer started asking me for things I’d never seen before.
When I finally clicked the refresh button, the page reloaded, and while scanning the piece again, I originally read that line as…
I enjoyed this piece, and recommend you check out a book called Bad Day At Riverbend, by Allsberg (of Jumanji fame). It’s the most horrific existential nightmare I’ve ever experienced.
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Andrew Cheverton
On my MacBook, F12 is the volume increase – F5 is mysteriously blank, so I’ve never dared press it…
The idea of waking up (refreshed!) on the internet is simply horrible. It’s just… horrible.
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Matthew Hartwell
Whereas my F12 is mysteriously blank!
I just went ahead and pressed it: It brought up Dashboard, but I think it’s remappable.
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David Baillie
Hey Matt – Bad Day At Riverbend has just been added to my toread list.
In fact. I’ve just bought it. Be here Wednesday they say.
PS. Damn on the F5 thing, for some reason I thought it was the same on the Maco.
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Matthew Hartwell
I probably should have specified it’s a kid’s book, but I’m sure you gathered that from Amazon. My friend and I stumbled across it in a bookstore last month and were absolutely entranced by it.
It’s the kind of thing you would give to your child if you wanted them to grow up in absolute LSD-tinged fear.
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Nicolas Papaconstantinou
We’re really going for it with the circular pieces at the moment, ennit-though?
Nice piece, though, sir. You are a reality-bender of the highest order.
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