I didn’t get confused, but I wonder if Zack means around the paragraph “The next month, his father left again … had not come back with them.” – the beginning of that scans less certainly than the rest of the piece.

I think it’s the distinction between the raiding party and the standard hunts, and when it comes into play, that does it. The brain only half distinguishes between the “raid” of the past and the hunting party of the now. I think the writing is sound, and it makes perfect sense once you think about it. I’d probably have written that paragraph the same, but then, I wouldn’t have had the idea, so you win!

I like it!