Elephant Words
It is around 3 p.m. on friday, and I am on the train with Jon and Dave, on the way to Birmingham for the convention. I have a new issue of my comic to sell, freshly printed off on my laser printer and waiting to be folded and stapled. It would have been done earlier but one of the artists didn’t get his artwork to me until half seven this morning, which meant that I didn’t have enough time to layout and print the comic and write my elephant words story, which is due today.
“So what are you going to do?” asks Dave.
“I’ll write it on the train and find an internet cafe in Birmingham,” I reply. He asks me what my idea is, and when I tell him he seems impressed, but when I get a pen and some paper out I just can’t be bothered to write. I pass the pen and paper to Dave, and say “Dave, write my elephant words story.” Dave takes the pen and paper and starts drawing.
A couple of minutes later he shows me what he’s drawn. It’s a picture of me, with a thought bubble that reads “Oh fuck, only nine hours and 36 minutes until my deadline and I still don’t have an elephant words story.” Then underneath is a picture of me holding a finger up in the air in a manner that suggests I have just had an idea, with a speech balloon that reads “I know! I’ll analyse my surroundings.”
“How am I supposed to get that online without access to a scanner?” I ask Dave, a question he shrugs off casually by pointing out that I can take a picture of it with my phone. Which still doesn’t really explain how I’ll be able to get the picture online, but I decide to focus on getting the story finished before I worry about how to post it.
“What about the rest of it?” I ask Dave.
“Ah, you can finish it.”
I pass the pen and paper to Jon and tell him to draw the next bit. He draws a picture of a bum doing a wee and a willy doing a poo.
I’m not really sure how to follow that.
davidbaillie
Don’t believe a word he says – this is all lies!
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Nicolas Papaconstantinou
Okay, a cop-out piece, but it cracked me up, so it’s all gravy.
Plus, you know, it was set on a train, so it fits the site premise. And now I want to see the pictures that Dave did…
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