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Burn Maybe Burn

Contributed by on 26/06/08

10 REM miso inferno
20 PRINT “Hello world!”
30 REM Programmer’s note: REM is an abbrev. of ‘remark’
40 REM Programmer’s note: If you didn’t know that you probably
50 REM shouldn’t be tinkering with this code…
60 REM Programmer’s note: In which case – PLEASE LEAVE!
70 GLOBAL boolean hasCustomer = undef
80 GLOBAL boolean isCustomerHot = undef
90 GLOBAL boolean customerLikeSoup = undef
100 SET hasCustomer = GOSUB checkIfHasCustomer()
110 IF (hasCustomer == FALSE)
120 PRINT “Oh well”
130 QUIT
140 ELSE
150 REM programmer’s note: delegate subroutines
160 REM each section of code returns to the main body after execution.
170 REM Please do not alter the structure. I like it.
180 GOSUB line 240
190 GOSUB line 410
200 GOSUB line 510
210 GOSUB line 740
220 ENDIF
230 REM
240 REM make miso soup
250 REM
260 LOCAL string qualityOfMisoPaste = undef
270 SET isCustomerHot = GOSUB checkToSeeIfCustomerIsHot()
280 IF (isCustomerHot == TRUE) THEN
290 SET qualityOfMisoPaste = “good”
300 ELSE
310 SET qualityOfMisoPaste = “not_so_good”
320 REM no use wasting the good stuff, huh?
330 END IF
340 GOSUB putPasteInBowl(qualityOfMisoPaste)
350 GOSUB boilKettle()
360 GOSUB addWaterToPaste()
370 PAUSE(60)
380 GOSUB stir()
390 RETURN line 190
400 REM
410 REM serve miso soup
420 REM
430 LOCAL string typeOfSpoon = “soup”
440 GOSUB pickUpBowl()
450 GOSUB approachCustomer()
460 GOSUB putDownBowl()
470 GOSUB provideNapkin(1)
480 GOSUB provideSpoon(typeOfSpoon)
490 RETURN line 200
500 REM
510 REM make small talk
520 REM
530 PRINT “Hi there…”
540 PAUSE(10)
550 PRINT “Hi there…”
560 PAUSE(10)
570 PRINT “Do you come here often?”
580 PAUSE(10)
590 PRINT “Do you like miso soup?”
600 PAUSE(10)
610 PRINT “Ha ha ha. I guess you’re right.”
620 PRINT “Otherwise why would you have ordered it?”
630 PAUSE(10)
640 IF (isCustomerHot == TRUE) THEN
650 PRINT “This is the best miso soup this side of Japan! Well…”
660 PRINT “The best instant miso soup. I made it especially for you!”
670 ELSE
680 PRINT “Sorry… I get nervous around really hot girls!”
690 REM programmer note: this logic clause is the correct way around.
700 REM Trust me!
710 END IF
720 RETURN line 210
730 REM
740 REM ask customer out
750 REM
760 LOCAL boolean success = undef
770 PRINT “So, do you want to go out somewhere with me sometime, please?”
780 SET success = GOSUB waitForResponse(10)
790 IF (success == undef) THEN
800 REM still no answer?!!?
810 PRINT “What’s wrong – cat got your tongue?”
820 LOOP
830 ELSEIF (success == TRUE)
840 PRINT “Yippee I have scored!”
850 GOSUB arrangeDate()
860 ELSEIF (success == FALSE)
870 PRINT “Goodbye cruel world!”
880 GOSUB setFireToRestaurant()
890 QUIT

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