Why Put It Off Until Tomorrow?

I’ve stayed in a lot of hotels over the years. Not traveling salesmen amounts of hotels, but a fair few. Bland hotels, fancy hotels, cheap hotels, so on and so forth. A variety, is the point I’m getting at.

This hotel’s got some weird deco.

The circular mirror is different. Not unheard of, but different enough to note. I swear I hear clicking behind there…it wouldn’t be the first hotel I’ve stayed at where it turned out that the mirrors were peepshow windows.

If that is the case (and there’s discreet ways to find out), I’ll check myself out tomorrow. And in the meantime, I’ll take a pass on picking my nose or frantically masturbating, or whatever it is they expect me to do.

Anyway. The circular mirror’s different. And the star pillows are kinda cool, in a kitschy way. I’d steal one, if I didn’t think they might be watching me through the circular mirror. Haha.

Speak of the devil; there’s that clicking again.

Anyway.

The wallpaper reminds me of a circus tent. Again, kitschy, but not in an easily portable way like the pillows.

But this plaque on the wall, that’s the strange thing. A…Southern Cross, I think, set in a circle of…gold and blue patterns? Chinese or Mexican or something. But the thing is, I swear there’s a seam between the circle the cross is in, and the circle that features the gold. Almost as if I pressed…

Then the bed would rotate through a hidden panel, is not, in fact what I was about to say.

Oh, look, it’s some of the other guests.

Oh, look, they’re…well…they’re busy. I should leave.

“…Pardon me, sir. Ma’am. Ma’am. …Family pet. I’ll let myself out.”

Come to think of it, why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Or tonight. At the check out desk.

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Josh Hechinger is a future writing superstar/cautionary tale. He lives in Pennsylvania.

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