Monthly Archives: February 2008

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Shrek’s Boyfriend.

My friend Cookie said, “The Minotaur Takes A Cigarette Break,” and I countered with, “In The Hollow Of The Deep-Sea Wave.” She took a long, slow and decisive sip of her coffee. “Okay,” she said, “You win.” “That’s very reasonable of you,” I said. “What’s

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Patronise

As I leave the house, I offer up a silent prayer to St Aloysius, the patron saint of successful blind dates. Aloysius is known for his sensitivity and sympathy, and his attentions are as context-sensitive as his attitude is pragmatic. Ask for help on a

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Petrified Norman

In the summer of 1836 the process of Norman’s petrifaction began. A year later he was complete. From that day forth he sat pristine, silent and motionless, in the centre of Greengrove Square. In 1838 Norman met Tom. Tom was nine years old, but could

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Know It All

My name is not important next to his. The details are not important, not even for posterity’s sake. Lord knows the new world will have no need for historians. Only this is important: I was his friend. I drank and ate and lived with him,

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Stone Block

At the very end of the final hour the man gave in and went to pray to the statue of the saint. This was Saint Felix of Giotto, of course, one of the lesser known figures in the hall of beatitude. Felix was known as

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Growing Melancholia.

He had once been a musician, but when she died, she took the songs with her. After that, he did little of anything. Now he sells mushrooms on a low bench covered in newspaper; sits there all day on the side of his property in