Coming Attractions

SIX MEN… SEPARATED BY GEOGRAPHY – UNITED BY WORDS.

NICK:

“Son, if you don’t answer my questions, and without the lip, you and your friends will be opened out and in the water, and your father’s boat will float in on a tide of your blood.”

DOUGLAS:

“I am not ashamed of the matter, as it was in the spirit of adventure, but please do not mention it in polite company.”

XANDER:

“Got to say – I’m sick of brunettes. Got too many brunettes in the harem already. Can we make them blonde?”

JOSH!:

“I feel like a living shit bastard fuck-o pondscum guy.”

CHEV:

“Ooooooo ooooooo oooooo oooo eee aaaaaaaa aaaaaa AA AAA!!!!”

ROL:

“So… you wanna shoot him in the head first, or dig the hole?”

CRAZY PEOPLE RAISE HELL!!

“So they sent ‘em to the Master, to learn the ways of the word. These guys – these crazy fucking guys – they killed the Master, ate his flesh, then dined out on the story at Casa Zombie, wearing his entrails like unholy dreads. They had no shame.”

STARRING CHRISTIAN BALE AS NICK, JAMES McAVOY AS DOUGLAS, HEATH LEDGER AS XANDER, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AS JOSH!, PADDY CONSIDINE AS CHEV, AND JARVIS COCKER AS ROL.

THIS SEASON – THERE’S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!

CRAZY PEOPLE RAISE HELL!!

COMING SOON TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU.

(Japanese subtitles by Haruki Murakami.)

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Rol Hirst was the first man in space from Huddersfield. The Russians still beat him up there.

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