Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Interview 1 – Monday January 7th 2008.
Location: Institute For Quantum Research, Ripon, North Yorkshire.
Interviewer: Dr. P. S. Bright.
Subject: Miss Sharon Tidwell.
Also in attendance: Agent Gary Halliwell, Agent Rebecca Dawson, Special Agent Aaron MacLean.
Video transcript: WRH.
Interview commences 12.42 pm.
ST: I don’t understand what I’m doing here. I’ve done nothing wrong.
PSB: As the agents explained to you, Miss Tidwell, you’re not in any trouble – as long as you answer my questions.
ST: But I don’t know nothing! How can I—
PSB: (Produces Test Doll #549-Z.) Have you seen this doll before, Miss Tidwell?
ST: What? No.
PSB: Are you sure? Think hard now…
ST: It’s just a tatty old… I don’t know if I’ve… What does it matter? No, I’ve never seen it before in my life. Can I go now?
PSB: Think back to this Saturday, Miss Tidwell. The 5th. Were you anywhere on or around the South Beach, Scarborough at approximately… 9pm that evening?
ST: No. I was… 9 o’clock? I was round at me mate’s, Lindsay Chao’s house. Other side of town. You can ask her, I was there all night. She’s not been well. Got that bug that’s going round. She’s… We watched Braveheart, on Channel 4. It were shit. That Mel Gibson’s a right cock.
PSB: I see. Roll the CCTV.
Miss Tidwell watches CCTV footage recorded at South Beach Promenade, Scarborough, Saturday the 5th, 9.09pm.
PSB: Now, Miss Tidwell – was that or was that not you—
ST: So? Yeah, so I forgot. There’s no law against…
PSB: No, and as I said to you earlier, you’re not in any trouble – as long as you answer my questions – truthfully. Now, at 9.11pm, you’re seen throwing an object from the promenade into the sea. Can you confirm–?
ST: What? Is that what this is…? Littering? It was just a pebble. You’re allowed to throw a pebble into the sea, aren’t you? That’s where they come from. I mean, I was just putting it back–
PSB: It wasn’t a pebble, Miss Tidwell. As you’ll see from the computer-enhanced footage on the screen now – we both know perfectly well that it wasn’t a pebble. It was in fact (holding up Test Doll #549-Z) this doll… was it not?
ST: Might have been.
PSB: Thank you. Now, so as not to waste any more of our time with this unnecessary… obfuscation, I’ll cut right to the chase. You see, this doll – this is no ordinary doll, Miss Tidwell. In fact, it’s a very special doll. It wasn’t actually yours to dispose of in such a manner, but we’re willing to let that slide – as long as you tell us how the doll came into your possession in the first place.
ST: Look, mister, right, I’m sorry if I threw your Barbie into the fucking sea and that, but I swear, I swear I don’t know nothing about no offbustation…
AM: Where – did you – get – the doll?
ST: Wayne. Wayne Bextor. All right? Can I go now?
Interview 2 – Monday January 7th 2008.
Location: Institute For Quantum Research, Ripon, North Yorkshire.
Interviewer: Dr. P. S. Bright.
Subject: Mr. Wayne Bextor.
Also in attendance: Agent Gary Halliwell, Special Agent Aaron MacLean.
Video transcript: WRH.
Interview commences 4.35 pm.
WB: Whatever she told you, she’s a lying bitch. I should know…
PSB: Mr. Bextor… we do not have time for your petty relationship conflicts. People’s lives are at stake here.
WB: What? What are you on about? I thought you told Sharon… you told Sharon this was a… this wasn’t a serious… It’s just a fucking doll, isn’t it? Unless you’re telling me it’s carrying the fucking Ebola virus or… Shit – is that it? Was the fucking doll infected with…? What’s going on here, am I–?
PSB: Mr. Bextor—
WB: Am I a carrier or something? I mean – I’ve had a bit of a cold… and there’s that bug going round that everybody’s… Her stupid mate Lindsay’s got it… What, is she going to die, Lindsay, is she–
PSB: Mr. Bextor—
WB: Oh shit. Shit, you better tell me right… I mean, OK, I’m not proud of this – and you better not tell Sharon, right, but I went with Lindsay after the Christmas do at The Coliseum. It was just a one-off… She was gagging for it and I was pissed out of me head and Sharon was giving me all this grief about the fucking baby and – I told her to get shut of it, so she can’t come whinging at me when the bloody thing keeps her up half the night, can she? If she’d done what I… Shit, is it the doll? Did I infect Lindsay with the fucking doll–? Or has she infected me with the–
PSB: Mr. Bextor! Nobody is infected. Nobody is getting sick. Nobody is carrying any kind of disease—
WB: That’s what you say – you guys probably created this thing, all biological warfare and that – and now you’re trying to cover it up or… God, I can feel my glands are up – my throat’s really… What if I’m not just a carrier? What if I’ve got some kind of delayed reaction, and just being in the same room as that fucking doll again has triggered – get that thing away from me! Get it out! Get it–
Mr. Bextor is hysterical. Special Agent MacLean administers a mild slap to the right cheek to bring him to his senses.
WB: Oww! Shit! What’d you do that for—fucking cock-end!
PSB: Thank you, Special Agent—
AM: This is getting us nowhere, doctor. I’m losing good people left, right and centre and this little shit’s—
WB: Fucking police brutality, get me a fucking lawyer in here, get me fucking Shark, or Judge John Deed, or—
PSB: Special Agent, please – let me handle this. Let me…
Interview suspended, 4.38pm. Test Doll #549-Z is removed from the interview room. Mr. Bextor is given time to calm down. Special Agent MacLean remains in the interview room to assist him.
Interview resumes, 4.44pm.
PSB: Now, Mr. Bextor – as I explained to you earlier, there is no infectious disease, and no direct risk to your health. However–
WB: That’s what you say…
PSB: However, people’s lives are in danger unless we get the information we need, and quickly. Will you co-operate?
WB: Last time I give her a present…
PSB: I beg your pardon?
WB: Sharon! I mean, all this is happening ‘cos I gave her the fucking doll in the first place. Thought I’d do something nice for the kid, for Christmas and that – I mean, all right, yeah, the kid’s too young for dolls, but she’ll grow into them, won’t she? She won’t be six months forever. But oh no, it’s not good enough for Sharon, is it? Not good enough that I – I mean, that kid’s no responsibility of mine, I told her that, but still I’m trying to – and what does she say? ‘Where’d you get this thing? It’s ancient! It smells! It’s all gay and that!’ It’s a fucking antique, I tell her – never mind giving it to the kid, she should keep it for herself, sell it in on eBay or something, get down the Antique’s Roadshow, they’ll tell her, she’ll probably be able to buy herself a car or something— But what does she do? Gets all het up and throws the fucking thing in the sea! Fucking antique too… it’s a miracle you ever found it, I’m telling you, that doll–
PSB: It’s not an antique, Mr. Bextor. The doll was manufactured in Thailand, six months ago—
WB: Fuck that – show’s what you know, man – my aunt, she’s had that doll – she’s had that doll on her mantelpiece as long as I can… Since I was a little kid. I mean, I used to… when I was a kid, my Action Man was right in there, you know what I mean – when my aunt wasn’t looking.
PSB: You aunt?
WB: Fucking Action Man – mine saw some fucking Action, I’ll tell you—
PSB: Your aunt, Mr. Bextor? Your aunt gave you the doll?
WB: Yeah, man – isn’t that what I’m telling you? My auntie Irene. She said, she said like – y’know, how sweet, a little girl in the family – though I fucking told her, it wasn’t in my family, but you can’t tell these old… She said she’d been saving the doll to give to the first girl… Six months ago – are you fucking mental, man? That doll’s older than me!
Interview 3 – Monday January 7th 2008.
Location: 48 Scar Tree Terrace, Filey, North Yorkshire.
Interviewer: Dr. P. S. Bright.
Subject: Mrs. Irene Wilkinson.
Also in attendance: Special Agent Gary Halliwell.
Video transcript: WRH.
Interview commences 8.14pm.
IW: You’re sure Wayne is all right?
PSB: I assure you your nephew is fine, Mrs. Wilkinson, as is his girlfriend—
IW: Oh, I’m not bothered about her. But the baby?
PSB: I’m sure the baby is fine too. She’s with her mother—
Mrs. Wilkinson gives a derisive snort.
PSB: Mrs. Wilkinson, it’s about the doll—
IW: Are you anything to do with social services? You’re all part of the same thing, aren’t you? You should get social services on that girl. She’s not fit to be a mother. That child – that poor child…
GH: The doll, Mrs. Wilkinson! Where did you get the doll?
PSB: Thank you, Agent Halliw—
GH: Special Agent–
PSB: Thank you, Special Agent Halliwell, but your sudden promotion does not give you authority over—
GH: Look, Bright – I’m not going the way of my predecessor – understand that. Dawson, MacLean, everyone else we’ve… I’m not, OK? Whatever… whatever it is that did this – that did that to them – you get to the bottom of this, and you do it right now – or I will get the authority, and I will use it. You understand me, Bright? You understand me?
PSB: Mrs. Wilkinson. Where did you get the doll?
IW: What doll?
GH: Oh, for…
IW: I don’t know what you’re on about. I don’t know anything about any doll…
PSB: The doll you gave your nephew, Mrs. Wilkinson—
IW: I didn’t… I didn’t give him any—
GH: (Produces Test Doll #549-Z.) This doll, you dotty old—
IW: Oh my.
GH: Where did you get this doll?
IW: Oh, Wayne, you didn’t… You didn’t need to… If he’d wanted a present for the– I’d have given him… I saw a gorgeous little jacket in Debenhams just the other week, I almost bought it for the… But that girl, that girl didn’t deserve… The baby, I’d have given that baby anything – but the girl…
PSB: Where did the doll come from, Mrs. Wilkinson? How did it come into your possession?
IW: Oh, it was my husband’s. Well, my ex-husband. It was one of the things he left behind, in the cellar, when I… I threw him out. Most of the things he had down there, they were horrible… Vile smelling powders and dirty old jars full of god knows what. All those books. I don’t want to think what he was doing down there, drawing those weird stars on the floor and hanging awful smelling things from the ceiling and… The smell, the smell was disgusting – and the noises? Sometimes I’d think he had someone down there with him, but nobody ever… No. He was sick. He was a sick man, and I wasn’t going to live in the same house as… So one day when he was out at work, I got a man in, and he changed all the locks and threw out all that nasty old junk, and when Terry came back that night, I told him – I told him straight. He might have been sick, but he knew who was boss in that house. He knew… he knew not to come back there again.
PSB: So you found the doll down in the cellar, Mrs. Wilkinson, with your husband’s… paraphernalia?
IW: Oh. Oh yes. I thought it was quite a sweet little thing. But strange-looking, too… Quite unlike the dolls you could buy in the shops back then. Much skinnier, for a start! Nowadays – nowadays all the kiddie’s dolls look like that, of course. But back then – this was… what, thirty… 1971, it must have been – what’s that? Thirty six years ago… No, thirty-seven, it’s just been New Year, thirty… I was just a girl myself… Anyway, I thought I’d save it, in case… Well, I suppose I thought I might eventually meet someone else and have a family of my own, but it turned out I wasn’t – but if not, there was always my little sister. She was too old for dolls by then, but if she ever had a little girl…
PSB: Have you seen your husband recently, Mrs. Wilkinson? It’s imperative that we—
IW: Not since after the divorce, love, when he came round asking if I’d kept any of his smelly old books. I sent him away with a flea in his ear, I’ll tell you. I don’t know where he is right now, or if he’s even… I really haven’t a clue. Sorry.
Interview 4 – Thursday January 10th 2008.
Location: The Old School House, Whitby, North Yorkshire.
Interviewer: Special Agent Gary Halliwell.
Subject: Ms. Terrence Wilkinson.
Video transcript (recovered Friday January 10th): NP
Interview commences 6.51am.
TW: You can’t just do this, you know, you can’t just come into a man’s home in the middle of the night, before it’s even light, start pushing him around, doing violence about his person – this isn’t Nazi Germany – this isn’t Guantanamo Bay. There are rules. I have rights. I demand to speak to a—
Special Agent Halliwell uses acceptable levels of persuasion to ensure the subject’s attention.
GH: Listen to me, old man – I’ve lost nineteen of my colleagues over the past week. Good men and women who were just doing their job and… something – something I don’t even understand – and I’m an educated man, I’m no scientist, no, but I went to university, I’m certainly not a grunt – but still, this is something I can’t even comprehend – and it killed all nineteen of them. Now I was led to believe by the man who was running the investigation before me – a man who yesterday became one of those nineteen himself – that whatever it is that’s causing all this death – and will continue to cause it, on a far greater scale unless I do something about it fast – whatever that is… it came out of your cellar, back in 1971. Now I don’t know if you created it yourself, or if you summoned it up from the darkest pits of hell… but you’re the only one who knows what it is—
TW: Oh my god.
GH: And if you know what it is…
TW: Oh my god.
GH: Yeah. Oh my fucking god is right, pal. Now talk!
TW: But it can’t… it couldn’t… I sent it away. I sent it away! If it had been loose all this time… nearly forty years… it’d have… nineteen would have just been… it would have killed – no, I sent it away. As soon as I saw what it was – what it was capable of – as soon as I looked it in the eye… I sent it back.
GH: You thought you sent it back. And in it’s place, you got this, right? (Produces Test Doll #549-Z.)
TW: Oh my…
GH: You ever wonder where this doll came from?
TW: I’d… I’ve no idea. It wasn’t mentioned in any of the books. The banishment spells… none of them… it didn’t make any sense. But I got rid of it, and this – this is just a harmless doll… Just some curious side effect. You have to understand – I didn’t want to hurt anybody. I just wanted to give them a scare. My wife – my wife and her… her boyfriend… they were rubbing my nose in it. They were… it was humiliating. And my father, back when he was… he was a member the Golden Dawn, you see, and some other… quite high up, I think, though he never…. he knew Crowley, he knew… And when he died, I inherited his books… but I… I really didn’t think… I didn’t believe in any of it, not really… Only when Irene started knocking about with that bloke from the building society… that… I just – I went a little bit…
GH: These books, your father’s… they told you how to send it back – do you still have them?
TW: No, I… when I finally left her – I couldn’t take her lies anymore, I couldn’t… She threw them out. All of them. I didn’t…I tried to get them back, for the sake of my father’s memory if nothing else, I wasn’t going to use them again. Not after – but like I say, this was a long time ago. I don’t know what it is that’s killing all your friends, Agent MacLean, and I don’t know how you think this doll is tied into it, but it can’t be… It can’t be the thing I called up that night. Not after all this time. I sent it back.
GH: No. No, sir, you didn’t. We took it. We, that is, the people I work for – we snatched it away from you that night, probably before your banishing… before that ever had chance to… We didn’t know what it was – we still don’t – and I don’t have the understanding to explain to you how we did it, not the science anyway. In broad strokes, there were experiments being carried out, at the Institute For Quantum Research, up in Ripon. They worked out a way to send things back. Back in time. Small items only – nothing bigger than this doll. Nothing living. The dolls had a chip inside, so they could be traced… if they still existed… in the present. They sent back hundreds, you see, a lot of them ended up on rubbish dumps and in landfills and… but some of them, some of them survived. And by tracing the dolls that did survive, then analysing the chip, the researchers were able to establish just how far back the doll had gone, and other things too – I don’t know, I wasn’t part of the study, I was only called, called in when things went… You see, the transferral, through time – it was an inexact procedure. Sometimes – sometimes when they sent something back, something else came forward. Matter exchanged places with matter. They’d get back a milk bottle from the 60’s, or an army boot from World War One, or…
A loud, distorted noise is heard from somewhere in the house. Audio analysis of this noise continues. Results are pending.
TW: Oh my god…
GH: It’s here. Get out of the house now, it’s here, it’s–
Tape ends, 6.55am.
