What Lies, Under The Skin.
I watch her as she sleeps,
and the slow rise and fall of her chest
marks the time we have together.
It is the clock that tells the time,
the only one that counts.
Each beat of her heart,
a movement of the second hand,
while the hour hand stands still.
(And I see those lying prone
who breathe with their stomachs,
in and out,
but she, the only one I know,
who filled her chest with life.)
I hear the faint whistle
as air passes through her,
her lips parted just so,
rose petal blush, as if
she knows I watch her.
And it is still so strange,
to look on a face so similar
to my own, when we are so close;
lovers, sisters, two halves of
different seeds.
(And the memories of clubs
where men (and women) thought us
truly sisters, when we would dance and
move under their stares and come to
believe them – maybe our closeness
made us so.)
(If I had a pound for every jerk
who asked us for a threesome,
I’d be rich.)
(Yes, twelve pounds would make me rich.)
There is a hitch in her breath and
her eyelids flutter, their bruised surfaces
like butterfly wings settling upon her face.
I stroke her gently with the back of a finger,
from her elbow to her shoulder,
then to her neck and ear.
Her skin now like snow-covered fields,
tinged blue in winter sun,
beautiful in its unearthliness.
(And under this skin,
that I have touched
and licked and held
and slept against,
I imagine traceries of wire,
tiny alloy pistons and struts,
a better skeleton than this
which fails us all, in time.)
I settle next to her,
an embrace for us both,
and listen to her die,
slowly and by inches.
It seems to me that her skinny frame
is now more comforting than before.
Where flesh used to cushion me,
envelop me in warmth,
now bone fits solidly into my own,
and we join as if hollowed for each other.
(Her death just gives me
one more thing to miss.)
My hair fills the space under her arm,
pillows me there,
and I close my eyes.
I’ll sleep here, folded in you,
as you will in me.
We sleep. It’s all we can do
together now. But all we need.
I’ll sleep and dream of you,
as you, I know, dream of me.
Your heart beats,
in you and in me.
When I wake,
I’ll be you.
I’ll wake up, and wonder,
will we both be here?
